I left him... 😪
He didn't care. He was selfish. He never listened. I realized I didn't want to stay with someone that treated me like an option. Who wouldn't show me off and made me feel like a secret. Who made me feel like everything I did was wrong. Who made everything about him. Who didn't want to commit. Who fell asleep on me when I had panic attacks. Who made me ashamed of my mental illnesses. Who didn't even fight for me to stay...
He told me he cared about me. He kissed me, held me, made love to me, called me sweet names, and made me feel safe. But when I left his house I felt alone. When I left I knew that none of it was real.
I was for show. I was for his personal pleasure. I wasted a whole year hoping he'd change. And I feel stupid for thinking he would. I stayed with someone who was hurting me and my chances of finding someone who was really meant for me.
I'm sad but I feel free.
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