FTM Down in the Dumps
Feeling very down in the dumps today. Baby is 6 months old, happy and healthy, which I am so grateful for, and I can't believe half a year has flown by already. My EBF son has been sleeping worse and worse probably due to a growth spurt so I never go out at night out in case he wakes up and needs to be nursed. I haven't been able to do hardly anything the past week because whenever I'm not nursing him, I'm pumping trying to keep up with his growth spurt.
A friend of mine had a few friends over for her birthday the other night and didn't invite me. I guess she assumed I wouldn't be able to, but she could've at least asked. I feel like I've lost my identity. I know everything changes when you become a mom but I thought I'd be able to organize some me time once in a while.
My husband's friend came by and made a comment that he had seen a woman breastfeed in public and thought it was obscene. It made me so mad because it's the fact that breastfeeding isn't normalized that I'm not comfortable enough to do it in public. If I was braver I could get out more with my son. I explained this to him but doubt it got through to him. I'm angry that my husband didn't speak up with me after he sees firsthand how all consuming breastfeeding is.
My in laws adore my son but I feel like he gets all this attention and adoration and I don't get recognition or enough respect for all that I do for him. I've literally poured my body and soul into his well-being and they just come over and play with him without recognizing the fact that he is here because of me. It looks strange when I type that out, but really, mothers don't get nearly the recognition they deserve. No one can possibly understand how hard it is until they are one.
I never expected motherhood to be easy and my son is the best thing that's ever happened to me, I just needed to vent because a lot of things added up today that made me feel bad. I'm feeling very alone and under appreciated.
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