Going to give you just a little of the back story I guess before I get into my bitching. 😑

 So I had my son 3 weeks ago via c section. 

My husband works 7 days a week. So I'm alone with the baby all day and I am up with him all night so dad can sleep. It's been hard, I've had a never ending headache for two weeks or more. My entire back neck and shoulders hurt from constantly having him in my arms , my nipples hurt from the constant breast feeding. And I'm also still healing from the surgery. Some days I feel fine but some days my incision hurts so bad it's unbearable. 

My headache makes me sick to my stomach. Nothing helps it. I wake up with it. 

Anyways. So I'm a mess. My son is really good. He doesn't cry much. But he's on a horrible schedual. Sleeps all day. Up for hours at night. 

So at night I will feed him and lay him down. He's usually asleep already once I lay him down. So I will lay down and as soon as I lay down he wakes up and starts fussing wanting to eat more. ( he falls asleep during feedings and nothing I try will keep him awake) 

So we go through this dance for hours of me feeding him laying him down him waking up. Etc. tonight for example I've been doing this since 12 am and it's 330 am. I feed him. He falls asleep. I think he's done. So I hold him a while. Burp him. Still asleep. So I put him down. 2 mins later he's up fussing. 

So as you can imagine I am frustrated and exausted and I wanna rip my hair out. 

So I'm over here bitching and talking to myself saying I'm going to go crazy and why won't you sleep and just talking out loud out of frustration yah no. I'm not yelling or anything like that at my son. But out of no where my husband says 

Maybe you just shouldn't have babies if you can't be a mom. .... 

so now I am really close to out right punching his stupid face. Making me feel like I'm a bad mom because I'm absolutely exausted , I'm sore everywhere. I get a few hours of sleep a night. And I'm bitching. IM ALLOWED TO FUCKING BITCH! I'm not hurting my son. I'm not yelling at him. I'm not doing anything other then letting out frustrations by bitching out loud to myself ! And he says that I'm a mom so I can't do that. The way he says it , i am really contemplating telling him I'm done and moving out. I am this mad. He goes to work. Gets to talk to people all day long. Be out. He comes home and has the baby for a solid 2 hours so I can try and get a nap. Other then that I am holding and feeding and changing this baby. And you call me a bad mom? Because I'm so deprived of sleep , because my head hurts so bad I can't think? What mother doesn't bitch and complain? I know everyone had times they want to yank their hair out. Want to cry. Have to take a step outside because your so frustrated you just have to calm down. I know I'm not a bad fucking mother. I'm a normal mother. Who is just fucking tired. 

I'm so appalled and mad with his words I don't want to be with him anymore. He comes home and bitches because I left dishes in the sink and the house is messy. I walk around in underwhere and a dirty shirt for days at a time , barley remembering to eat and you expect me to not only be awake all night but to clean and have everything spotless ?! And then tell me I'm a bad mother because I'm bitching ?! 

FUCK YOU ASS HOLE