the disappointment & hurt really is intense 😭

I tested in secret thia morning, didn't want hubby to know, for incase it was + I wanted to surprise him at breakfast...
11dpo, bfn...
Kept it in till about 2 hours ago, and I just said to my hubby "we're not pregnant this month". And I just burst into tears. He got teary eyed from seeing how it really is getting to me.
This ttc journey is SUCH a flippen roller coaster ride. I hate how something we want so bad, isn't as easy as we hoped.
How do you keep your hopes up every month? It's just draining