I think I'm too nervous

Then he asked if he could ask one more question, and I didn't want to hurt him and I wanted to stay friends so I never told him to leave and said sure for the question. He asked my why I cheated during the end of the first part of our relationship when I was going to break up with him. I tried to give him answer to the best of my abilities, but all he was looking for was me to say I wanted to hurt him, and that wasn't true. 

Then he stayed in my room for a solid 3 hours while  we waited for our other friends do get back (since we are in the same friend group). I had another issue due to an unpleasant experience 4 years ago, and apparently had hurt my friends unknowingly. I understood that they wanted me to get help from a therapist, but their motives changed from that to hurting me more. My now ex called me the most fucked up person ever, my best friend removed me from the group chat, and I kind of felt betrayed, and now I just feel guilty for hating them a bit. 

I have not eaten a proper meal since then, and have been throwing up everything that goes in my stomach. Because all of the yelling happened in my room, I sometimes can't close my eyes or even be alone in the room without remembering what happened. 

I went to my first appointment with the therapist, and I just feel a little more broken. But I'm trying to focus on school and extracurricular activities because it's easier to focus on the less stressful of events.