Im afraid im going to loose a grandparent..??

This morning after I left my babysitting I got a message from one of my grandparents saying that their spouse has cancer. Ive lost my moms mom to cancer. I feel like im falling apart at that seems. I was at work tonight and we were busy and i got a lil bitchy. I didnt mean to I just feel like I wanna cry but cant. I wanna text my cousin who shares the same set of grandparents but dont know how??

Please dont judge or bully me this is serious.