It just occurred to me I can speak of this here.


People are rude to me because they don't believe this is a true "rape experience." I wasn't hurt. I wasn't in pain. I wasn't kidnapped. I wasn't "raped."

Thid takes place a year ago. Me and my boyfriend had just went through a breakup. A popular guy going through a hard breakup began talking to me, and we helped each other through it. One day he began kissing me and making out with me. I kept pulling away, telling him it would ruin our chances to be with the ones we love again. But he'd do it again eventually, and eventually we began kissing a lot. One day my bf texted me saying he missed me and wanted to be together again. I told him that if he truly wanted to, he needed to know me and this guy had made out. He was hurt, but decided he could deal with it. A few days later he decided the hurt was too strong and he couldn't forgive me. About a week latern me and the guy began having sex, my biggest regret in life. We had sex more than we should have. I hate myself for it. I felt I was betraying my boyfriend. Again, he contacted me saying he forgave me. He did want to try again. So I told him that I did worse than before. He was hurt. "Was it worth it?" He asked. I replied honestly. "No." He would later ask how many times we had done it. I couldn't tell him. I didn't know. I felt like a slut.

The day after this conversation, the guy came to my house. He began kissing me and trying to take off my shirt. I told him no, I didn't want to. I hurt the man I loved by not waiting. It was wrong. I didn't want to anymore. He kept telling me my boyfriend's opinion didn't matter. "He left you. We're together. We can do it." I kept telling him no, but he wouldn't stop. I eventually gave in. He wouldn't give up. I let him do it.

My boyfriend and I did get back together shortly after. It took healing, but he forgave me. He knew we weren't together.

Shortly after we started dating again, I told him this experience. I hadn't realized it was rape.

"You told him no, and he kept going?"


"You realize that can be considered rape, right? You said no and he kept going. He fucking raped you!"

I approached the guy after this. I told him he raped me. I saw the realization in his eyes. I saw him realize what he did, and that he'll be living with this knowledge.

I never spoke to him again.

This all took place in about two months. It's been over a year later, marking nearly two and a half years of me and my boyfriend being together.

It's like those two months never even existed.