labour all alone
So I've been thinking for a long time now that I want to go through labour alone.. for many reasons but it's hard because my family isn't giving me a choice. Everytime I bring it up my mother says she's going to be there whether I like it or not
My partner is most likely not going to be able to be their as he works away a lot and driving all over the country... so he's out
My mother wants to be there... which I guess would be great if I didn't absolutely hate the idea and here's why
3 years ago I lost my baby boy at 20 weeks..
while I was in hospital my mother completely stole the spotlight ( poor choice of words )
What I mean is I ended up comforting her, being the strong one, telling her it's ok. Now I understand it was hard for her too. But that should of been me. I didn't get to cry until she left and then I was completely alone. I just can't get over how she made me feel and completely disregarded my feelings..
p.s this isn't the only time things like this have happened... my mum has mental problems that she refuses to treat and this has basically been my life. Any great moment or any time I need someone or attention etc. she turns everything so everyone's focused on her.
I do not want her in the delivery room. I do not want her to know until after I have to baby. Trouble is, she's basically the only one aroun 24/7 as she doesn't work. So I'm kind of stuck with either doing it completely alone. Or with her
I think I want to just do it my self and let her know after I had the baby, just so I can have my time and my own time with my baby before she ruins the moment...
is this selfish and crazy? Or should I just be grown up about it and let her be there
I know I'll probably want someone there with me as it's a huge deal. But I just don't want her.
Any advise please
Also my I add she's crazy. If she doesn't get her way she completely loses her mind and screams, abuses everyone etc. I'm not talking a little crazy I'm talking full blown she brings knives out of the draw or overdoses crazy