Ok so I really need to get some things off my chest and don't really have anyone to talk to that doesn't get upset with me. Ok so here's a little back story. Last August I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd baby and was so happy. On Sept 13 I went to an emergency appointment where I was told that my
pregnancy had failed and I was experiencing a miscarriage. I was devastated. My boyfriend was crushed he was wanting a baby for so long. Later that day I had to go to the hospital and have an emergency DNC. Fast forward to know and I'm still not completely ok. I've battled depression my whole life and this event accelerated it to an unhealthy level. I keep having night terrors about the miscarriage and terrible dreams. Well this past Sunday I found out one of my coworkers gf is pregnant. While I am a great friend and am happy for him I could care less wether or not she has this baby. 4 years ago she pled guilty to 1st degree child abuse. Her 3 month old baby boy was rushed to a hospital for a fall. Or so they say. He was the air lifted to a better children's hospital when tests and scans came back showing that his body had been severely abused. At 3 months old he weighed almost 3 pounds lighter than he did at birth, multiple broken ribs, broken femur, and fractured skull. She was arrested along with the baby's father and they both pled guilty. It sickens me and you may call me selfish or petty but I don't think she deserves a second chance at motherhood. I do everything I am supposed to I am a good person and I love and take care of my children. Why does my baby get ripped from me while this child abused gets to bring another baby into this world. I know they say life isn't fair but seriously!! Everyone at work knows but we aren't allowed to say anything and it takes all I have in me to not snap her neck. And the past 4 days I have just sat and cried I've been extremely emotional and my period is due tomorrow. I feel like every time I get my period I fail as a person cause I can't get pregnant again. We have tried. I feel like a disappointment to my boyfriend cause he wants another baby. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
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