I was determined to ebf my baby girl. I had my milk in before I even left the hospital with her! I assumed that because I was doing well by 1 month, that I had it all under control. I had only heard of women struggling in the beginning. The first 2 weeks (some said 4) is the hardest. Well that's not always the case. I started loosing my milk between 3-4 months in. I was devastated. I am still upset. Now when my son was born I was again determined to ebf, but this time, I was prepared. I had a bunch of lactation cookies in the freezer, stockpile of water and Gatorade. I was ready. I pumped once a day for 2 months straight. And then, it started the same way it did with my daughter. I knew it was happening all over again. To make matters worse, my pump started dying! At his 4 month check up my fear was confirmed I found out my poor baby boy stopped growing! I was again devestated. Even with a few ounces of formula a day, he still wasn't growing. I am at about 50/50 with him right now just to get him growing again. I still hate that I can't ebf. Breastfeeding is hard. Be kind to other mommies when they are breastfeeding in public, with or without a cover. But don't forget to be kind to formula feeding mommies too. I have to remind myself every day, it's only about happy & healthy babies, nothing else matters.