Ouch.

So I'm literally about to lose my shit. I'm a day late for my period, my fiance and I have been having issues, and I'm so emotional I feel like I'm going to blow. I'm doing better but I really struggled with self esteem... And my biggest issue is I don't have girlfriends.... I over think making friends and my anxiety only makes it worse. I used to literally do nothing but sleep and be sad and I didn't fight..I feel like I have no personality and that I'm fake because I try so hard and I'm so boring. My fiance and I were looking through meme's and there's this one about being wild and he started sharing all his stories and when I couldn't he said I must have been boring.... I'm so hurt and I literally just sat there until he went upstairs because I didn't want to start crying in front of him. We've been having some problems and I feel like he's holding me back sometimes. He doesn't budget he often breaks the budget even though we pool put money together. I feel like my needs come second sometimes. I love him so much.. And I know this is stemming from him not taking care of him self and he's playing out what his family has done then when I bring it up he doesn't want to talk about it. He says we can't afford a baby then goes and cums in me without warning and says surprise I think we're as ready as we can be without asking me first. I just got an assistant manager job I don't want to lose... I love him so much and he wasn't always like this but I'm hurting so much right now. I really want him to go to therapy but I know that I can't always expect others to change... I'm so sad right now and really needed to get this off my chest