iffy on a second child. help 😭

My daughter is going to be 9 months old in like a week and a half ish. and I love her with all my heart. I loved being pregnant too but getting her into this world was hands down the hardest thing I've ever done in my life and borderline traumatic. a lot of things went wrong from the start and even afterwards they told us there was a chance she might die from injuries she obtained during delivery. she didn't obviously and all was well after a couple weeks but it was just traumatizing to me. I had no thought ever cross my mind that things were going to go so wrong. Her father and I both want more kids but after going through all that I did I find myself even more terrified of birth than I was the first time and I hate that I feel this way because it should be such a beautiful thing. I'm not pregnant but I just feel so depressed about it because I want to have another baby but I don't want anything like that to happen again 😭 anyone else feel this way ever or is it just me? 😩