am I overthinking this? relationship help 🙃

Question

So last night I pretty much gave my ring back to my fiancé because he's being a dick lately and snapping at me and our kids like crazy and I'm loosing my shit. He's just lost his grandad so I feel like a bitch but if he is gonna act like a dick I'm not marrying him. ( his temper has been before his grandads passing so not related)
He's also a gamer he would rather play then spend time with me and the kids which is my biggest hate about him. On the other hand he's great with helping with feeding, changing and sending our 3 children to bed. I'm not sure I love him anymore. Some days I can't stand him other days I just want to cuddle all day lol so I'm trying to figure out if I'm just mad and want to teach him a lesson or I really want to end things... do I stay or leave ? I can't understand my own feeling if I'm mad and don't mean it or I'm truly unhappy how do I know?! 😣

Answer

Sounds like you need to sit and think about what it is you want.

Answer

Giving a ring back is a HUGE decision and usually when you act on impulse it's the choice you truly want to make deep down. You don't have to make excuses for it, if you don't feel like you should marry him, don't! It's better to figure it out now then to get married and have to pay for a divorce a few years down the road! I think whatever choice you instinctively made, is the right choice.

Answer

I think that you should sit him down and talk about things before you make any rash decisions. It doesn't sound like he's the problem, I think it's just a rough phase in your relationship and it's taking a toll on both of you. He doesn't sound like a bad guy so I think you should definitely give it another chance before you decide on anything.

Answer

Sounds like u need to operate from a place of forgiveness and grace to better understand if you're functioning from an emotional place specifically or that it truly is the end. You cant make decisions based off feelings bc it clouds your judgment. Marriage is for better AND for worse and a several other things. You guys should consider premarital counseling as well.

Answer

My husband is a MASSIVE gamer. When we first got together it didnt bother me because he always helped with the house work so it balanced out. At one point he became a recluse and stopped helping completely.  He was more of a roommate than a husband. I thought about leaving as well. Then i decided to talk to him. We had SEVERAL heart to heart conversations before we finally agreed he would only play after our son and i went to bed (im an early bird to bed these days). He didnt like it at first because he always played online with friends. So if he wanted to play then he had to join a group that started after a certain time.

It wasnt easy to come to this arrangement but it works for us and he adjusted over time. Marriage is about compromise and sticking together through thick and thin. Sometimes when things are bad they get worse before they get better. Your fiance may be so consumed with the game he doesnt realize how much its affecting you so you need to talk about it.

am I overthinking this? relationship help 🙃

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