18 and pregnant

Kayla • Mommy to a princess 👶🏼👣
I was 17 years old when I found out I was pregnant, then a few months later I turned 18. I didn't know what to do at first, I honestly had the worst panic attack I've ever had. I wasn't on any pills before I got pregnant because I went to the doctor a few week prior to me taking a home test, well, I went they just thought I had asthma and anxiety because of school, but it wasn't just because of anxiety. I unfortunately can't get on any medication right now I think because I'm pregnant. I'm a single mom, I've been doing this all alone ever since I found out, I feel like a horrible mom.. my child won't have a dad because he left when I found out and wants nothing to do with us which is completely fine, but it makes me sad seeing people on my Facebook and they are with the dad and it depresses me.. 
I'm not depressed, just seeing it makes me depressed. I have anxiety really bad like I don't know some days I will cry, shake over something stupid and it will take a long time to stop. I want to get on medication, but I'm afraid if I get on medication, they will take my child away when I give birth. A month prior to me being pregnant, I was in the hospital the cops admitted me because I was suicidal, and depressed. Because of my past with cutting etc and I was there for hours I feel like they will look at that and be like "you're unstable" or what not. But I'm better now, and I don't know.. I have no friends, they all left when I found out. No one talks to me or anything I am home 24/7 with my dog, and I don't know..