how do I tell my mother I was raped?

Question

On Friday night I was raped. I don't remember anything, as there's about a 10 hour gap in memory. I think I was drugged, though I'm not sure. I already got a SANE exam and made an initial police report, but I don't know if I want to pursue charges.

I want to tell my mom. I really need here and her support, but I'm scared she'll force me to pursue charges and I'm scared she'll tell my dad (I don't want him to know). I don't want to be forced into anything else I don't want to do, but I'm really scared and sad. I've already missed work 3 times and class twice, and I need her to help me with rent because of it, but I'm so scared to tell her because I'm scared she'll go against my whishes. I have no idea what to do.

Answer

Screen shot this post and send it to her. Please get help for your own sake

Answer

I'm so sorry you went through that and you're faced with such a difficult decision. You're extremely brave for reporting and having to go through that already. It's completely your choice if you want to tell her but please remember that you don't HAVE to. It's your own personal experience and you should only open up if you feel 100% comfortable and ready. Don't force it. If you decide to tell her, remind her that it should be your choice to pursue charges if you want. Pursuing charges can make the ordeal a lot more traumatic in certain instances so make sure you tell her your concerns about that. The most important thing in this situation is you! You have to heal and find peace. I hope you are able to do that.

Answer

Tell her how you feel. She should understand. But how old are you? She can't force you press charges if you aren't a minor.

Answer

I am so sorry. It can be very scary to tell parents. My dad still doesn't know and I don't really want him to ever know. My mom supported me and let me make my own decisions. They didn't even make me come home even though I ended up dropping out before the year ended. It was my first year of college. You should tell her. It'll be scary, but you will feel so much better once she knows and can be there for you. I'm sure she will be understanding and respect what you want or don't want to do about it. I didn't press charges the first time and I don't think it would have made a difference. I did another time when I was assaulted by someone who was supposed to be a friend and it was a very hard decision to make and was very stressful and I couldn't cope until after I came home from school and I still am 2 years later. Again, I am so sorry and i that wish you the best. In the end the people who assault others get what they deserve anyway, but do what you think is right. I would recommend starting to go to therapy. I started seeing a therapist when I came home from school and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Stay strong. I promise it does get easier!

Answer

Tell her exactly what you just told us. Tell her you don't want to be forced to charge them. That you need control of that right now. 
But I think it's great to tell her. And don't be worried about your dad finding out. I'm not going to lie, she will tell him. But you need to tell her.

how do I tell my mother I was raped?

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