I've had some time to rebuild myself and not be controlling.

At first, knowing that my current (and quite new) boyfriend watches porn didn't bother me, but now it's starting to.

Before responding to this post, please don't tell me that "it's just porn"--there are a lot of damaging effects and I feel I need a partner who doesn't rely on porn for instant gratification/short term pleasure.

He watches porn every day. I didn't mind at first. But then he started to go into detail about it with me and it made me feel even more insecure. While I understand that my own insecurities are something I have to work on myself, we've had other discussions about porn that make me feel conflicted about our views on sex/attraction.

Porn isn't like real life. It can be degrading. It sets up unrealistic standards, especially for women from men.

Guys will lust over women who show their bodies and are openly sexual but will then call them sluts, and dehumanize them...because they're porn stars, because they're showing their bodies to the public. And that's not right. My boyfriend does that. It makes me feel like he lacks respect for women and that he also views women as sexual objects, no matter what.

I don't watch porn. I thought for a while I could get into it, but I just can't. It doesn't feel right, and I would honestly prefer someone who doesn't want to rely on porn for sexual satisfaction, especially if we're sexually active. I'm beginning to feel so strongly about this whole porn thing that it's almost a deal breaker. I don't know how to go about discussing this with my boyfriend.