Working parent
I'm becoming more and more frustrated as these weeks continue. I'm currently 27+6 (as of today, Saturday 03/11/17: 2:12am where I am) weeks along and we have shared the news of our pregnancy to only close people, and people who see us on a regular basis and thusly can tell (and needed to know immediately- like my methadone clinic) that I am in fact pregnant. We've told a few of my "close" friends, meaning my two really good friends that I have known for many MANY years even though we rarely have time to see each other much. We've also told a few of our friends whom are couples (our good friends Dallas and Angela, as well as our good friends Kim and Roger). Of course my two ex's, the fathers of my other children know as we let them know as soon as I started showing (my 8 and 6 year old at least, my 18mth old and would have no idea what I was talking about, lol). As for family? My family knows: my mother, my brother, my "aunt" Cathy (family friend since I was very very little), and my half sister Meghan who happens to be 10 weeks behind me in her pregnancy. We have NOT yet told his parents. In fact, we have a huge surprise set up with two big balloons stating "It's a girl", along with a pink heart, and one of those smaller balloons on a stick that says new baby. We have a pink bag that includes cute bootie socks (Mary-Jane patterned with cute polka dots towards the top with red trim), a very beautiful magnetic box that holds ultrasounds from our first baby-showing ultrasound at 8 weeks up to the last ultrasound at 24 weeks (about 4-5 different ones). On the handle of the bag we have another "it's a girl" item, a pin that a mom-to-be would wear at a baby shower. Then of course we have a card. The card itself states a congratulations about your new baby but we added a beautiful poem about being a grandmother (his mother is the one we are most worried about because she has NEVER liked me, if you would like to know why I will explain if asked) and how appreciative we are of her and how much we love her and a million other things. We plan on giving her this surprise bag tomorrow evening, after telling his dad while we work on the house we've been fixing up to go on the market.
⭐️Now this is just a little bit of a back story I just mentioned.
What is frustrating me and making me upset is this ingrained image that the FATHER must be the worker, the breadwinner, etc. And that is MUST fall on him to provide. I am an independent woman and I am actually excited and overjoyed that after I heal from the birth of our daughter that I will be the one working to support us. I have 5+ years in retail management in CT, which on an hourly rate is about $15+ dollars per hour. He works sporticsllt with his father and friends doing construction work while he also works on completing his intern hours for electrician. Now everyone we come across keeps saying to him, "oh I hope you're taking care of her, and I hope you have a job to support them..." as if it's any of their business. They don't know we have a very set plan. He will continue with what he is doing, bringing in enough to cover our expenses and get what we need until it's time I can use my staffing agencies to place me in the best areas of my expertise. It's not that unheard of for moms to be working and dads he stay at home!! Plus to top things off, I prefer to work nights, less people but more things to get done and to keep you busy. He is a complete night owl. Meaning, and this is PERFECT for us, that while I am at work he will be awake as he normally is to take care of her until I can come home and we switch rolls. He will then sleep for a little while, until we switch (where I sleep a little while and then we have dinner together, bath time, etc) Is there anyone else that sees a problem with mom working and dad being the stay at home, been part time only?! What would you say to those who make it seem like HE needs to be working and I need to be home?! UGH, it's just so annoying. We've been making these plans and have dates set up for when we will begin the process (6 weeks after her birth, as long as there are no complications I will be re-enrolling in my staffing agency to find work, while also either A) getting my hair/skin/nails certificate or B) getting a medical assiting certificate.) He will continue to get his intern hours while looking for a job in THAT field (otherwise I will continue making more money than him) while bringing in under the table money from house restores as well as doing side jobs in both construction/painting and car work. I'm just venting right now because his mother went off saying we have no idea what we want to do with our lives, and no plans, etc... when in fact we do but if we bring them up she makes it seem ALWAYS that it should be more more MORE! I am just hoping that she will listen, that everyone will LISTEN and see what we have planned, see that we don't expect handouts and so forth.
I guess I'm just praying that the last generation realizes that SAHD's are just as prominent as a SAHM.
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