I can't believe I'm 21+4!! Buying??

Melissa • I`ve had 3 preg I lost the first then had my rainbow baby then I lost my son this year trying for baby 4(1 living child)
I can't believe I've made it this far!!! I want to buy baby things since I found out we expecting our second daughter in June... But I still can't bring myself to buy any thing... Anyone else feel like this??