Panic, Anxiety, Sex

I'm just about calm now but I had a panic attack. I woke up sweating and feeling sick to my stomach because I was dreaming about something related to sex.

The thing is, I have always repressed my sexual desire because of religious reasons, so now that I'm living on my own, I have actually had sex. I had sex with my fiancé 3 times before I felt like I couldn't do it. My anxiety and my conscience and my religious values make it hard to do anything sex related because I'll think it's wrong.

Regardless of whether or not it's wrong (because I don't really care right now, I'm worried about the panic attacks), I was thinking of trying to have sex again. But I don't know if I can. I really panicked just now, enough to cause a physical reaction in my sleep and make me obsess about it for over an hour. I'm scared of what the panic is doing to my body...the harm it is potentially causing. And I'm scared that I might have dug myself in deeply to an unhealthy marriage because of the fact that my fiance's family freaked out on us for having sex (which is a huge long story).

I'm not at odds with the family but I don't feel like I can have sex anymore because they'll ruin our relationship....ugh... don't know how to talk about that one.

My body and mind are stressed out! I took a gravol and a lorazepam and had ginger ale so hopefully I can hang in there and sleep.