Was depressed, but I'm ok now, I think

Got in depressed mode for 2 days, I didn't want to be bothered and my boyfriend kept being a butt about it. He would say stuff out of the way, where I wish I was no longer here...I told him to leave if he didn't want to be with me anymore. Alot has been going on and he's one of them. I've lost alot in the past years since I've been with him and he doesn't see it as a problem. This year I quit my mini job of doing hair, which pays ok, even though I've lost clients and money in the process, which hasn't been fair. I feel like he's trying to control everything I do. He's trying to take care of me, but I don't want him to. He keeps telling me he's going to leave, I wish he would, I don't like controlive people. I've lost my guy pals and my bestie because of him. He says I need to things for me and stop tending to everyone else's needs, he says I'm too nice and I wear my emotions on my sleeves like all other women do. I've tried to stand up to him, he blames everything on me, it's my fault. His family keeps asking what the hell is wrong with me because he's trying to help me, but cutting me off to things that were there, is throwing me back into tbe sheltered life, I never wanted to go back to.... I'm trying my hardest, but I have and slip into these depressive moments where I don't feel like anything to anybody. Yet he keeps telling me that I graduated last year and I have a new car, it doesn't mean anything to me, it's materialistic, I'm not happy where I am, I try to do better for me, but it gets thrown back in my face.... I've been looking for another job and he tells me stop looking because I'll never find one, I been trying everything and haven't been hired yet... I work for him, but haven't been paid in 3 years, he keeps telling me wait until the money comes in, with his business(any money I made from hair was to help him out...I've given twice as much and he complains now because I don't have any money, but it went towards his projects and whateva else the hell he needed from overdrafted bank accounts to projects he had no money his business partner was putting out to help), nothing is promising it seems like, at the end of the day I'm still living paycheck to paycheck, I don't spend anything, biggest thing I have is my car note $430... I don't shop like I wish I could, I pay my cell phone bill and car insurance and be lucky to have enough for some gas and groceries...I don't have my own place yet, was hoping I did, but it doesn't seem possible for me right now😔... I'm trying to do better for me, I'm tired of going through this, at least I had friends to talk to, well I don't now, feels like everything fell apart, now I'm rebuilding from the beginning to see what's what... I've been through too much to give up now, but I don't plan on quitting, I guess I just need to give it time, idks, I'm learning everything the hard way since I wasn't shown, I'm 27 years old and just learned about credit, I didn't know you had to have credit to get your life started...but I'm being careful with it, I'm learning...