Am I trying to hard to ttc????

Ok I may be tripping but I want another baby me and my husband of 7 years already have two a girl who is 3 and a boy who is 2 I feel that my babies aren't babies no more and I told my husband that I want another one he keeps saying not right now wait till they are in school our daughter is already in school and our son starts in august with gods will but we have sex regularly unprotected of course and I think I set my self up for failure wen I go buy a test and wen it comes back negative I really get in my feelings like I literally just took a test like 7 seconds ago and it was negative and I just busted out crying I have no one to talk to my kids are sleeping it's 430 am we're I live my husband just went to work I haven't slept all night not to mention I had three miscarriage before I had my daughter I don't know if I'm trying to hard or wat I know it's not up to us it's up to god but I don't know why I'm feeling like this I know I have my set a girl and a boy people see me and say I know yal happy u got ur pair but Am I being selfish for trying to have one more my mom even asked yesterday matter fact Are u pregnant I said no Ma she said well u look like it and all night I kept tossing n turning I couldn't sleep I have to go to work at 8 and I'm so tired but I can't sleep mind u I have no one else to talk to but yal and god don't want to bother my husband about it for the time being help some one???!!!! I would greatly appreciate some kind of input!!!!!!! 😞😞😞😞