another month

Another month I'm not pregnant, another month I fall to my knees in agony because I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. Another month I have to tell my husband that the test was negative, another month tears stream down my face and feel as if they were razor blades hitting my cheeks. Another month I feel like I'm losing hope, another month I feel as if it's never going to happen for us. Another month I cry and ask God why is it not happening for us, another month I lay on the cold floor alone wishing I was anywhere else. Another month I have to pretend and joke with my family that I'm not pregnant, another month I have to put on a brave face and pretend I'm alright. Another month of feeling like my insides are being ripped out because of the pain I endure. Another month I feel like I'm a failure. Another month of trying to start all over again...