Worst Feeling
I just left my second prenatal visit and it just so happened that the feeling that I was having of something bad happening was confirmed. I am twelve weeks and two days pregnant, but I lost my baby measuring at eight weeks and four days. I've gone four weeks without knowing that my baby's heart was no longer beating inside of me. I went four weeks without knowing that my baby will no longer be able to physically be with me. I went four weeks without knowing that I am carrying a lifeless fetus inside of me. The amount of anger that I am feeling, the amount of sadness that I feel can not compare to anything in this world. It doesn't even compare to the passing of my mother. Nothing compares to losing a child. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I don't want any pity. I am at a loss for words. I don't know what to do from here.
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