when to tell family when there is another big family event coming up.

Question

I am almost 9 weeks pregnant with our second child. When I am at 11 weeks my Sister in law is getting married. My husband wants to tell everyone now, but I feel like we should wait till 12 weeks when the wedding is over and we wouldn't be stealing any attention at all. My SIL will be happy for us and is not a bridezilla or anything, but she is very quiet and having one day where all the focus is on her and her husband is important to me. My MIL will be all about this baby (she is not really into the wedding) and I don't want her to be talking the whole time about grand babies when she should just be excited for her daughter on that day.
My husband will follow my wishes, I just wonder if he is right when he thinks it doesn't matter.. I would like a female perspective other then mine.

Answer

I like the idea of waiting until after the wedding too!

Answer

I would wait. She might not be bridezilla but she will probably appreciate you waiting to tell

Answer

I think it's very kind of you to take into consideration her big day as it is only a day where as your pregnancy will be for 9 months. If I was her I'd appreciate you letting me have my special day 😊

Answer

I would wait for sure. Even if it wouldn't upset her for you to say it now, she will appreciate that you waited. My cousin is pregnant and her baby shower was right at the 12 week mark for us and my husband was dying to tell everyone but I told him we needed to wait until after her shower so that I didn't take any attention away from her that day. She is not big on being the center of attention, and she said she didn't care if I said something sooner but it just didn't feel right. In the end, she enjoyed her shower and her time with our family and her friends and the next day, we announced.

Answer

I wouldn't say anything at your SIL wedding. Just tell everyone the week after.

Answer

I agree with you that the thoughtful thing to do would be to wait.

Also I think it gives you and hubby more time to bask in the excitement privately.  It might even be kind of a fun time between you and hubby at the wedding joking about little "if they only knew" things that are bound to happen.  I know it was too funny at Christmas keeping it from my family for an entire week. Once the family found out it was a riot looking back at some of the comments folks had when they didn't know.

Either way you two will make the decision that is best for you and your family...

Answer

I'm in an oddly similar situation. I will be 9 weeks on tues., but 14 weeks at my brother in laws wedding. It's been suggested that I should tell the world before the wedding as to not 'steal thunder', but I feel that will cause the exact opposite. Plus I hate having the spotlight on me! My main concern is not feeling comfortable telling a lot of people until I have an appt at 10 weeks.

A few already know and we've decided To tell others when I'm ready. If you feel rushed, don't. My husband finally understands how pressured I was feeling and that's a relief.

Answer

I agree with you, I would wait. If for no other reason because she will have one day while you will have 6 months for the family to dote over you and the baby☺ Congratulations to you both!

when to tell family when there is another big family event coming up.

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