finally ready to share, twin boys born!

My boy Cam was born only 5lb 2 oz (at 35 weeks he was estimated 5lb 7 oz, so yeah, those ultrasounds aren't always accurate) and with a cleft palate (also unknown to us). In the midst of my c section, both of my boys and my husband were taken up to the NICU and I was left to be sewn up and sent to recovery without them. Luckily, I had an amazing team of doctors and nurses who kept me calm and reassured. When I finally left recovery, I was wheeled up to the NICU to find my son in a humidicrib getting oxygen. My other son (born 6lb 1 oz) was getting skin to skin time with my husband. I basically spent the next 6 days in that room crying. We decided to admit my bigger twin, just to keep them both settled (they don't like being apart). The first 2 days were incredibly difficult. My son stopped breathing 3 times and had to be tube fed. I learned I wouldn't be able to breastfeed him and he would need surgery during his first year of life. On his 3rd day, I was finally able to hold him, it was one of the best moments of my life. By day 4 he was out of oxygen, day 5 I learned to feed him with a bottle, and day 6 we went home. His recovery was so speedy!

I truly believe that my commitment to learning to feed my son myself and the ferocity of love my husband and I have for him helped him heal so much quicker. I also believe having my two boys together helped them both thrive. Their bond is so amazing. 

We still struggle. My bigger twin doesn't breastfeed well, meaning my supply isn't great. So I feed him with an SNS supplement, and then pump and bottle feed my littler twin. I'm doing my best to stick with this insane feeding system as long as I can, but I admit it's hard and I want to give up almost every day. Overall, I am just so incredibly happy though, I love my sons so much! Twin life isnt always easy, but it is worth it!