So im 17 and I had been waiting to lose my virginity to someone special didn't need to be in love but I wanted it to be with someone who cared for me and I cared for them cause sex was a bug deal for me. But stupid me lost it about a month ago to a guy ive met a couple of times. I was at the club with my friends and ao was he long story short I went home with him but i had gone home with him once before and we did not have sex so that is why i went to his house again. Once in his room things escalated pretty fast we were kissing then naked and i wa ontop of him he wisperd something in my ear and for a quick minute i tought why not have sex? Im drunk it wont hurt that much And next thing I knew it had happened I had sex. Skip to a week later from that night and all Ive been thinking about is him he didn't try to contact me after or anything I wrote this not long ago and it explains what Ive been feeling 

I feel used, un wanted and stupid but the worse is un wanted he didnt even try to contact me after like he knew it was my first time and I told him how I felt after he fucking new I wanted it to be some who CARED for me not just wanted to fuck but that's completely my fault i don't understand how I let myself do that

And now ive reached out to him if we could talk beacause at this point i cant take it I feel like that will be the only thing that would help me to talk to him to see thats hes not a bag guy or the biggest fuck boy like people say but he cant seem to take an hour out of his "busy" week he says so now i feel very un cared for or important but why do I think I should be to him like get it trough your head he just wanted to fuck you nothing else NOTHING so why do I feel like I would stop anything if he asked to see me or needed something like how fucking pathetic

I cant take him my heart hurts and mu mind is tired of thinking 

I want to take it all back sure it was fun but its not worth what im feeling now

All I wanted was to lose it to someone who cared for me or even loved me lol I want someone to want me to make me feel special and beautiful im tired of feeling like this idk what to fucking do " 

Anyways all this to say that i still cant stop thinking of him and imagine us in a relationship like how pathetic i dont know what to do? how do I get over this? Why do guys just fuck girls and forget about them? 

I really wan to text him again but is that a bad idea? 

Sorry its so long but thank you!!