Is this normal?

I'm basically just scared. I don't know if I have body dsymorpia disorder (BDD)  or anorexia, I've reseachered it and it sounds like both and I guess I just wanted other people's opinions, I am going to pass what I've written on to my psychiatrist, this is an abstract from my diary I'd written, I'll see if I can post pics of me below.

I feel like every time I look in the mirror I see someone staring back who I really don't like, I see the massive chin, the huge nose, the weird eyes, I see the hamster cheeks, I see a massive scar on my forehead, I see a massive neck which is mushed to my face to make them look combined, I see the huge belly, which just sags and makes me look and feel like an obese elephant on steroids. I hate my body and I'd do anything to change it. Every time I look in the mirror, I either feel sick with disgust or just cry, I don't know how else to feel. Food makes me feel sick, I feel guilty for eating because I know by the end of the day I'd put on even more weight, I weigh 2 or 3 times a day, I have to, otherwise I become anxious that I'll put on so much weight, if I know I'm putting on weight I can change my calorie intake or exercise more. When I exercise, I'm constantly looking at how many calories have been burnt making sure that they roughly meet up to what I've eaten, which usually isn't hard because I only eat one meal a day during weekdays, but I get forced to eat two at weekends. I feel like I almost get rewarded and give myself praise when I see the number on the scales drop, and when they increase I lower my food intake the next day and feel guilty. My therapist once said to me "what number do you want to see on the scale before you're happy?" Not at all suggesting that my behaviour was unhealthy because she's said its okay for me to loose weight since I'm not skinny, but the truth is I have no answer to this question & I guess that's kind of scary... But I'll still carry on, push this question to the back of my mind, I know when I'll be happy, and that will be when I don't see a someone who looks about 20 stones in front of me.. 

Sometimes I feel like I lack the motivation to go to the gym, everything seems so dumb and dull, and so pointless, but I make sure I make it up when I'm feeling better. 

I hate having to wear a coat on a super hot and sunny day to cover up my stomach so people don't see my belly, or cross my arms, pull my coat across. Or I wear baggy clothes, that way they can't tell, but then I worry that they can tell. 

I hate when I sit down in lesson, constantly thinking about how my body is positioned and what it looks like, worrying, I'm constantly comparing myself to others, thinking about how pretty they look, and how I'd love to look like them, but also how confident they look, I know that looks can be deceiving but I can't get these thoughts out of my head.. 

I like having control over my eating because I feel like I have no control over things in my life, and I hate it when my parents force me to eat, I love having control over exercising. 

When I leave home I'll be so much happier because I won't have to eat, but I realise it's not healthy and it's draining me and making me feel exhausted.. 

I never really thought about telling anyone this because I'm scared I'll get forced to eat, but I'm also scared of people just thinking I'm doing it for attention, because I'm really not, but I just hate myself, and have for as long as I can remember, but I feel like it's getting out of control now..