My rainbow finally arrived!

My little rainbow girl is a little over two weeks old and I wanted to get our birth story together before details get too fuzzy :)

At 38w1d, we headed in for our scheduled induction. We were being induced because we lost our first baby, a boy, to stillbirth last April and they didn't want to let me go all the way to my due date, just to be safe and to minimize the stress/anxiety I was experiencing.

So, 5am, we arrive at the hospital and get checked in. They spent a while taking my vitals, starting IV's, etc. They mentioned baby was sunny side up. By 7am, we had started on pitocin and by 8am I was feeling consistent contractions and they broke my water. Contractions were manageable for the first couple hours. I was feeling them mostly in my back, and let me tell you, as they grew stronger, it really started to hurt. Back labor sucks. By noon, I was dilated to 5cm and was 90% effaced. Contractions were getting intense and I chose to get an epidural. The shot to numb the area was a mild pinch, and after that, all I felt was pressure when she inserted the epidural catheter. 

At this point, my abdomen felt numb and I was only feeling what I would describe as pressure during my contractions. I was still able to move my legs with ease and feel baby kick. I really don't think getting that epidural could have gone any better, it was magical! At this point I focused on relaxing my entire body hoping that I'd finish dilating quicker and move things along so I could finally meet my baby girl! Every time they checked my cervix, they mentioned that she wasn't "dropping down" like she needed to do to encourage my cervix to finish dilating. 

I started trying to be more active to help my body progress. I labored while on my hands and knees and swayed my hips, I leaned over the bed, I used the peanut ball in every position I could, etc. It seemed like we just kept trying and trying everything! I eventually got to 9cm around 5pm, and was relieved an end was in sight. But then when they came back to check me, I was still at 9cm. So we kept trying different things to help. And at the next check, still at a 9...then still at a 9...annnd STILL at a 9. So by midnight, I had been at 9cm for seven hours with no progress and we're out of things to try. My temperature started rising and they couldn't get it down, which is indicative of infection and since my water had been broken for so long, I started getting really worried. Baby was still doing great, tolerating contractions and hanging in there like a champ, but she wouldn't drop down anymore. 

My OB had left for the night (she tried to stay but had to get home to her little one after I stopped progressing) and the on call OB was the same one who delivered my sleeping baby (FML). So he comes in to talk to me and gives me the option of waiting this out and hoping something changes and I progress and risking potential infection, or going in for c-section. At this point I'm in tears, because I've been in the hospital since 5AM, no food, no sleep, uncomfortable, absolutely terrified about losing another baby, and now this. I never imagined giving birth by c-section. He gave me and my fiancé some time to talk it over, and we decided because it had been so long with no progress and because there were signs of infection, we would go ahead and have the C-section performed. We were both terrified and crying. I let the OB know what we had decided and things went so fast from there.

They topped off my epidural and got my fiancé into scrubs. They gave me alkaseltzer to drink (still don't know why, but it was disgusting) and a few other things to take and before I knew it, I was being wheeled into the OR. I was trembling from fear and crying and started getting so nauseated. I was sort of in a daze because things had moved so fast and everything was so unexpected, but I could hear them talking and knew surgery had began. After a couple minutes they finally allowed my fiancé to come in and he was able to sit next to me and hold my hand and talk to me. 

A few minutes later, I heard the nurse ask if my fiancé wanted to stand up and see his daughter being born, and he did. He stood up and looked over the sheet and saw them pulling her out of my stomach. At 1:31AM, she was born. I just kept waiting to hear cries and I kept asking if she was alive. I was so terrified and it seemed like no one was saying anything and after what felt like forever... she finally cried! 💕 and I knew she had made it. She was alive. After the most stressful and terrifying pregnancy, after we had endured the death of her older brother, she had arrived and she was safe and healthy and ALIVE! I broke down crying. It was the most amazing thing to know we had finally made it to the end of pregnancy and I didn't have to worry anymore. I couldn't believe she was finally here.

My fiancé went and stuck right by her side as soon as she was born, taking tons of pictures for me and making sure she had a parent with her. She cried the whole time the nurses had her. It felt like it took forever before they finally brought her over to me. They asked if I wanted to see her and of course I said yes, and they set her on my chest and I was able to see her and kiss her and touch her. As soon as she heard my voice and got set on my chest, she stopped crying and you could tell she was relaxed. She knew who her mommy was 😁💖 

My fiancé took her back from me after a few minutes and headed to the recovery room and I was able to meet them a short time later (maybe ten minutes or so).

As soon as I was in the recovery room, we were able to try breastfeeding and I was able to snuggle her and hold her as much as I wanted. They respected our wishes and performed all procedures in the room with me and her daddy so we didn't have to be separated again. We ended up in the hospital for six days because she had high bilirubin levels and they wanted to make sure she'd be okay, and she was/is. My incision is considerably smaller than I expected and even though it's still tender, it has healed almost completely and I'm sure in a year or two, it'll hardly be noticeable at all. The doctor told me that she was turned at a really weird angle and that she wouldn't have been able to encourage my cervix to finish dilating, and her poor little head was bruised from trying so hard for so long to drop down to be born. I think c-section was the right choice for us given the circumstances, and she was able to remain infection free. So long story short, I labored for 17 hours only to end up with a c-section which was not what I wanted and was so far from ideal, but both me and baby are healthy and that's all I really care about. It was the most incredible feeling to leave the hospital with a baby. The last time I had walked through those doors to leave, I had said my final goodbye to our sweet son, and we were so broken. This time, our rainbow was coming home with us. It was the end of an incredibly long, challenging, and emotional journey.

We are so in love with our daughter, and I could not be happier to have her here with us. 🌈💖💕