Hey yall...so I'm 26. I've had a long long journey with infertility.ive always wanted to me a mom...i know that's my purpose.to be a great mother. I did everything "right"...had my career, my own place with an extra room, I found the "perfect man" at 19 and at 23 I married him. We had always wanted kids and never used protection. After the wedding I began seeing a fertility specialist because of PCOS.went through all kinds of tests.some of them more than once.i did 8 cycles of <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">iui</a> with Clomid and letrozol each with the novarel trigger shot.nothing worked.and the emotional side effects were SIGNIFICANT.thats when my depression got worse and i distanced myself from EVERYONE.bestfriends family everyone. Infertility had consumed my life.i wanted to make my little family perfect and give my husband the gift of a child.had surgery 3 times to remove a recurrent uterine polyp, and nothing. I took 2 months off work to go on a small vacay with the SO and to do my first cycle of <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">ivf</a> in August 2016.i was so optimistic.because the hubs had a low sperm count we did <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">ivf</a> icsi. The Dr was able to harvest 6 eggs only 3 made it to day 5 because of his sperm quality. Doc advised him to see an urologist.and gave us the option to cancel or to move forward.i was sooo optimistic I decided to move forward.im not a quitter! Followed the med regimen down to the t. Transfered 2 eggs....Well it didn't work. Had one more surgery to remove a polyp and after that we were gonna try again before the year was over to take advantage of the insurance copays that were paid for the year. (surgery was in october) My surgery went well. Doctor recommended hubs see the urologist before we tried again. He never even called to make the appt. The new year came. He got fired and we lost our health insurance in Feb. He stopped wearing his wedding ring and things got tense and a lot of other issues arised..i resented him so much for not making the appmt.after all I went through 2 years worth of pain physical and emotional.and the financial burden. that appt could of been the difference between us having our baby or not. Our relationship began going on a downward spiral and by July I moved back into my mom's house and we broke up...i went through the worst depression of my life.it was a huge life change.we were together for 8 years he's all I knew.but now I'm left with this empty hole in my heart.and the thought of ever becoming a mother is gone.i still ask him why..but I never get anytype of answer.(communication was a huge issue)I'm sure I'll never get the closure my soul needs. I feel like time is ticking and the longer I wait it will never happen.this breaks my heart because that's all I want.once I over heard a male family member say no one wants to be with a woman who can't give them kids.and that's all I can think about.i met someone who has absolutely swept me off my feet but I'm scared.what if 2 3 years from now he wants kids.i know he loves me and understands everything but still.idk.i just need someone to talk to that understands.