When he doesn't have time for his child

Question

Ok..ladies I have a dilemma. My son father only ask to spend time with our son on holidays or birthdays. My son is only 4 but he loves his dad. He isn't on child support and we not in bad terms, he doesn't think spending time with him is a priority. The only time he gets him between that is if its a family event and he wants to show him off. The only reason I haven't stop him from taking him is because I don't want my son to get older and think I kept him from his dad. Would you stop all communication?

Answer

I would not stop communication, but I would recommend you establish a formal parenting agreement with the courts of who has time when. It would be for the protection of both of you and your son. If you don't establish a parenting plan it is possible it come back to haunt you. Usually is you are both getting along you can agree on a plan without the courts having to rule. If you feel he's not helping you should also establish child support.

Answer

File for DNA, parenting time and support. Allow him to decide after that how he chooses to be a parent. If he doesn't step up take him back in, violate him when he doesn't do what he's supposed to.

Answer

My daughters bio dad has not seen her since she was 5 months old, which is his choice, despite my best efforts to have him there for her. There was one time where I offered to pay for his plane ticket, his hotel and his rental car to come see her, and he turned me down. We had already separated at the time so I used that money for the divorce attorney instead. His idea of a custody agreement was that he could have her for one month, then I could, and so on, bc he lived in a different state. This was the idea he had before she was even 6 months old and I said NO and won full custody in court. Since she was 2 years old, (5 now) he has only asked to see her once and I said I wasn't against it, but he never came. So I ended up telling him he was not going to be a yo-yo parent (meaning I would not allow him to come and go in her life as he pleased as it would not be beneficial for my daughter) and I cut all communication. I honestly have never made a better decision. Best of luck to you. ❤

Answer

No but I'd want it to be an organised arrangement. That kind of inconsistency can be very disruptive to a child, resulting in emotional and behavioural difficulties. I'm a social worker and see this all the time with children who's fathers are inconsistent.

Answer

Probably not. I would, however, file for child support if you've considered it.

Answer

That's a really tough situation I think. I voted yes because if he loves his dad, then I think it's good he gets to see him at least sometimes. I think he definitely could potentially resent you if you broke off all communication. That being said, I'd worry about him wondering why he doesn't come around more. Perhaps when he's older, he'll be able to relate to your son more and he will spend a lot more time with him. Also, I feel like breaking off the communication with the father would also make it so he'd have no contact with his paternal grandparents and extended family.

Answer

No. It's better that his father wants to see him at all rather than preventing them from having any communication from here on out. So long as the father isn't being purposefully neglectful or absuive while with his son, it just makes him a dick for not wanting to see his son more often. It isn't a reason to cut communication.

Answer

Don't stop communicating, just communicate more set boundaries and put his ass on child support. If he did not want the responsibility of a child he shouldn't have help to create one. Let him know that that child is not a toy or a pawn in his game. He either will be a full time dad or ghost like father. Difference between a dad and father is dad does the work and makes him a top priority and father's are sperm donors that are put on child support.

Answer

As long as he is there and not causing any harm to the child i wouldn't stop communication because that can be more harmful for your child in the fact that he just no longer has his dad around. But i would say to get everything worked out for custody through the courts for protection of you and your child. And child support if you need it if not then thats up to you of you want to go for that. Im all for Father's rights but when the father chooses to just be around at convenience there should be some compensation to the mother.

Answer

I wouldn't stop communication. I would however insist he take his son mor Eiffel and more regularly. Even if they means going through the courts for mandated weekend/holiday time.

When he doesn't have time for his child

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