A woman in a mans body and I'm a lesbian? Imbarrising!

Okay so this is taking a lot of courage, its bad enough as it is. This might not come out rite or sound rite, but i ask for help and support no haters plz. Yes i am a man but i love all things "girly". I am on some hormone meds after i went to a psychologist and talked to him about the problem. Done some blood test and it came back that i had about 60% female hormones. Yes the first place i pic up weight is my thighs and ass. I am very emotional and cry easily. This was also said. 60% is enough to make you get "cycle" emotions witch explained some of it. After the i started the meds things was better. Less emotions ext. But the last few weeks it feels like its not strong enough anymore or my body is rejecting it. When i had a girl it was easy. I will always go do shopping "for her". I usually end up painting my nails to "test" the coulers for her. I would fit, walk, and buy shoes, some tops ext. I love flats! Anyway. Now that I am single i can't do this anymore and don't have a excuse coming home with girl shoes, nail polish ext. No I'm not gay. I cant stand other men. I have tried though. This sounds i don't know, but i dont like having sex, like giving penetration. Its like i want to be touched and played with, it feels like i want to play with my girls boobs wile she eats me out. Sound even worse but i hate my balls and penis. Can't seem to make peace with the fact that that's what i have. No one believe me except my psychologist, all my friends, male and female, left me that i told. I can't tell my parents. They know that I have a hormone problem but not the extend. Me liking girls makes it easy to hide. But everyone started to notice again that im not okay. Its afecting all aspects of my life, i don't know what to do. I hope it makes sence. Please help.