Please help me. My son is three years old. Sometimes I don't feel like he is mine.. like I don't have a connection with him. I think it may be my depression I just don't feel like I spend as much time with him as I should be and I feel guilty when I go out for date night once a week. My son is 90% disabled. He has hypotonia, global development delay, hyperflexia, a whole in his heart, his heart grows too fast for his body which means either it could burst in the long run or they have to do open heart surgery when he's older. He also has three spots on his brain that aren't getting oxygen. He's being fitted for his first wheelchair. We've neve had a conversation, he can't talk, he can't walk he can't do anything for himself. If I want him in a certain spot I have to put him there or lean him against a wall... I feel so hurt because I feel this was and depressed because I feel like I don't connect with him as much as I should when I see other moms getting hugs and I love yours from their children I don't get that. His dad decided to not be apart of his life when we found out he was disabled so besides my boyfriend of four months I've been doing this on my own the past three years... I'm tired... I'm mentally and physically tired of everytime I go to the doctor they don't have good news, just they find something else. They haven't given him a life expectancy, but in the back of my head I'm mentally preparing myself for the moment no parent wants to hear. And before you say "you shouldn't think like that!!" It's all I know how to do at this point.