So, for a couple years I've had a silent war with myself. I have no motivation for school, I'm a live in nanny, so I have a job, a roof over my head, I have all these friends that I care about and a great family, but I don't express love and happiness like I should, I think. I feel like I just, act like I care more than I actually do. Like I'm not AS emotionally invested into people like they are to me. I want to be, but I can't bring myself to? I don't know how to explain it I kinda feel like a sociopath. The thing is that I do feel a lot of things (like an empath) it's just, for other things, like the earth and the universe in general. I'm often thinking of the future and the state of humanity. I just have a weird relationship with people and I don't know what that is. I feel genuine true love for my close family, but other people, I feel like they care more about me than I do for them, but I have no reason to cause they express love for me very openly. What is wrong with me? I feel insane trying to figure myself out all the damn time. I'm always very aware of myself and the things I say and do. I just feel stuck in life cause I haven't figured out why I'm so detached and attached at the same time.
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