to all moms: question about first bowel movement post labor

I'm absolutely terrified to take my first bowel movement. I have a second degree tear and am having a lot of discomfort and hard time walking and haven't slept yet. We got checked in Sunday evening and I had baby Monday at 4:15. It's now Wednesday and still haven't had a bowel movement and I'm very very scared. I'm on stool softners and might ask my doctor for a lax before I leave. walking is hard enough let alone sitting on the toilet... I'm so scared. Any advice? Tia.