sorry for the depressive post

For the past 6 years or so I've struggled on and off with anxiety and depression, but recently it's started to get a lot more overwhelming. I've never felt like I belonged anywhere, or that anybody truly cared for me. Everyday I feel more and more alone, I hate scrolling through social media because it just makes me more sad knowing that I don't have anybody to call my own or someone that I can vent too. It's starting to scare me the amount of times a day I think about how easy it would be for me not to be here, it's a selfish thought to have I know it is knowing that I have two loving parents and a awesome family. But honestly no one ever comes looking for me, and the friendships I've had always end up ending badly, and the guys I talk to either only use me for sex or just forget about me. I'm in such a horrible place in my life and no matter what I do to try and fix it, it seems like my depression keeps winning