Husband got our joint tax refund!

So I lived with him over seas for 4.5 years, I had both my kids in the US via C-Section while he was in his home country. I bared all my expenses and kids when we were in US. He didn't want to move to US but finally after 5.5 years he decided to and is working as a delivery guy for a pizzaria. I had to get on my feet and worked two jobs; at the local college and for the local board of ed. He would say you are uneducated you don't have a degree because I have an Associates Degree (90) credits though.

And he has a Bachelors which is technically a degree no higher than an AA. 14 grades. 

He has to babysit our daughter and since he works late at night and gets home at 3 ish and plays video games until 5,6 every single day he throws a fit and says I do everything where as you go out to have fun. So anyway after getting this background info on him, please advise on this matter. We filled taxes together and out state gives out a nice sum for children. He gave him bank info to the tax person and the refund came back. I asked him about it a few times and he kept saying its not here yet. It was a JOINT return. So today I asked again and he said half of it is here, so I said can you transfer half/my share to my account or write me a cheque. And he threw a fit and said what will you do with the money, I spend this and this much in the house etc you already have such and such amount in your bank which is my life's earnings/savings. I am not sorry I asked for my half. Please tell me how much should I take and if I am doing the right thing.

In the past 2 years I spent nearly 10k out of my pocket and savings on me and kids while he didnt bother to ask to send me anything while he was back there and I was in US.