When should I tell them I am pregnant?

Question

Am I making the right choice? My fiancés family has been planning a reunion in Alaska for Christmas since January. My mother at that time was battling breast cancer and we didn't know if she would have another Christmas after this one so I said I was going to stay here with my family.  My mother has now lost her battle with cancer as of April the 10th. I told my fiancés family that I will be staying here to be with my father for Christmas since it will be the first one in 40 years that my mom will not be here.  They said I have 2 brothers  that can be here for my dad.  
A week after my mom passed I found out I am pregnant. Our last pregnancy end in January of 2016 with a stillborn. We my fiancés mom blamed me for the baby passing.  I don't want to tell them yet that I am 6 weeks pregnant but my fiancé wants to tell them so they do not book their trip to Alaska.  I want to wait till I am 12 weeks before we tell them but they want to get the tickets for the flight in the next couple days.

Answer

Tell them when you ready. Me personally if I was in that situation and they said to me after my mother just died that I have two other brothers who can stay with my dad who for the first time in 40 years won't have his wife and for a MIL to blame you o would be so angry and I would really make them wait to hear the news. Screw them for saying something like that to you and blaming your for a stillborn. Plus I am a worry wort so I really wouldn't want to tell anyone prior to 12 weeks.

Answer

Don't tell them, they don't deserve to know. Let them book and leave it'll be better for u, they sound so selfish and inconsiderate that they don't deserve any special treatment from u. I'm in a similar boat as I haven't told my MIL I'm pregnant because of what happened to us with a loss last year. She was selfish and inconsiderate so I'm 6 months pregnant now and we haven't told her anything( she lives in another state which is why hiding it is easy). Focus on u and baby and don't worry about the rest. I'm sorry for both of your losses and I wish u the best this time around. Good luck

Answer

Tell him whn ur ready.

Answer

Your fiancés family sounds nuts. Wait as long as possible to tell so they will hopefully be gone when you give birth 😂 I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother and baby. 🙏🏻

Answer

Uh. No. Wait and tell them about this baby when you're ready, even if it's until AFTER the time you lost your last baby. Tell them you're not going and don't give them a reason. Other than the one you've already given because that's an extremely valid reason to not spend Christmas with a family that obviously doesn't care about you or the things you've been through. That's disgusting. I'm so sorry for the TWO loses you've been through in such a short period of time. You have every reason to not tell them and if they try to force you and book your flight anyway, screw them. They can lose that money. I've seen my loved ones deal with families like this for far too long and it's awful.

Answer

It's just as much your fiance's baby as yours, & wouldn't you want your family to be around when your baby is born?

Answer

I am so sorry anyone felt like they had the right to tell you why you had a stillborn. I had a stillborn last year and I can imagine how you are feeling and how protective you probably are over this pregnancy. I honestly told my husband that I would only be telling a few people about my current pregnancy when I was ready to and that everyone else would have to wait. If you want to wait to tell them, then wait as long as you want. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss and take all the time you need before telling anyone you are pregnant.

Answer

I hate my inlaws, and my partner was so scared to tell them (long, long story...) but, I made him tell them, as at the end of the day, the longer you leave it, the worse it gets. Tell them now so they can do whatever plans they want to do.

I can't believe how they acted about you wishing to stay with your dad at Christmas. I had 8 years of guilt trips from my inlaws, so we always had to have Christmas with them, and not my family. The last straw came 3 years ago after they treated me horrendously after I'd had major surgery, and since then, I refuse to spend Christmas with them. It's been liberating. The first Christmas after then, my partner and I had Christmas with a friend on motorbikes around Sri Lanka, last Christmas I had to spend it alone as I couldn't fly back to the Uk because of my pregnancy. This year will be our first Christmas with a child; and the first proper Christmas I'll have had with my own family for 11 years :)

You do what you want to do. And it sounds like you both want and need to be with your own family xxxxx

Answer

Give your self some time. You have gone through a lot lately I think you deserve a bit of time to reflect on it & announce when your ready.

When should I tell them I am pregnant?

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