feeling Disgustef

I have been feeling so disgusted with myself, just entered my third trimester and I feel so fat, like every part of my body is fat even my knees. I was looking at them and my knees are surrounded by fat it is just horrible, when I saw that I wanted to cry, I don't want to be pregnant, I don't want to gain weight, I have a double chin now. This is just making depressed. How did I let this happen to myself, I get so mad because I am always hungry I try eating fruit and yogurt but I just end up going for carbs because I just want to feel full! My doctor said with my size I should only gain 30 pounds and no more because eating for two is a myth so I should not gain weight. I am 5'3 and I am at my highest weight of 161, I started at 140. I am 28 weeks and can only allow myself to gain 9 more pounds. I am so disappointed in myself and the way I look and where I am fat. I just want to scream and cry I don't want to go to my baby shower because I know people will be thinking wow she gained slit of weight. I am not a fitness person and hate the gym because I can not even run for a minute with out stopping. I have no motivation and afraid I will have none after the baby. I pray to god he will help me. Sorry for the rant just had to post!