When you have a literal pain in the ass.

Mom's with hemorrhoids can relate to this feeling all too well. Hurts to wipe​your ass after taking a shit and hurts while a shit. Forget about sex because anything goes down there you're going to scream bloody fucking murder. You can't even really sit up because the pressure of your weight hurts to sit on it and the ointment makes you smell funny. But you'll take any kind of relief because smelling bad isn't a big deal to you anymore. You've been thrown up on, pooped on, and peed on so the ointments or creams are nothing to you. Oh and God forbid if any pee runs down your ass to it. I think my neighbors heard me scream and not the good way.