Baby shower

I had a MC almost 2 years ago. It was the worst darkest point in my life. I have yet to become pregnant again. I so want to be a mommy. I have skipped multiple friends and relatives baby showers since my MC. Because of course I'm being selfish and jealous. Now a close friend of mine is pregnant. Her shower is the day after my bridal shower. I feel that I should go. Its going to be hard. I'm ready, but I'm not.