Break up

Hey ladies. So my boyfriend broke up with me two days ago, and I'm finding it really hard not to talk to him. He's sending me really harsh texts like "never speak to me again" and I think he's being brutal on purpose because he thinks it will help me move on. But I don't want to be without him. We have been together for over four years and have planned everything about our future together. I love him more than I've ever loved anything and I've gone from having the most amazing best friend and boyfriend to having nothing left in his place. And I want to be all like GIRL POWERRR wooo fuck you if you don't want me I am fabulous. But I have no confidence now, my mental health is struggling, he won't even be my friend and I literally cannot fathom that he won't take me back at some point. I would have him back in a heartbeat. I'm broken hearted. All I want to do is sleep so I'm not awake and feeling the pain, but I can't sleep, so I take sleeping tablets, and then I just dream of us being back together. Everyone always said I was out of his league, but I am so in love, I think he is the most amazing person in the world, and basically I don't know what to fucking do because I can't take being without him he helped me through everything, rape, being suicidal, everything and I'm at a complete loss