Not sure how to feel

Amanda
Last week, I posted a BFP. I had 6 of them total. Three different brands of tests  Started spotting a couple of days later, blood ranged from light pink, to brown to red, back to lighter. I've never seen any clots and It was never enough to even get on a pad or my underwear. Just there when I wiped and was in the toilet a couple of times. Went to MD. Drew blood. hcg level was 102. He made an appointment to have them redrawn this coming Tuesday, 3/10. I want to keep hope and be positive but in my heart, I just don't feel that way. Emotionally I'm a wreck bc being a mom is all I've ever really wanted and seeing that positive sparked something in me I can't explain.