venting

One thing I hate is when having a baby is the only think you want and it's all your heart desires but then there is multiple obstacles you have to get through but you never know when they will stop and never know when u will have a chance. Some days I wish I could switch my brain off or think about other things and not think about having a baby at all for atleast one day but that never happens. Watching tv playing with my animals cleaning all day going out to do something else there it is in every situation. Maybe it's seeing a baby or a woman who is pregnant or social media baby's r everywhere  now I'm not saying that's a bad thing but it doesn't help me stop thinking about the wat ifs. What if u never get pregnant. What if you do but u fail as a mother.  WhT if u have a miscarriage what if. What if. An I just want a break but I can't because all I want in this life is a baby. Is to see my child and feel what mothers feel. An with Mother's Day passing and all it's been harder then hell but maybe next year I'll be celebrating Mother's Day as a mother. Who know.  What if. (: sorry to vent just thinking a lot.