2 back to back miscarriages, a week before our wedding and I find a condom in his wallet

One miscarriage on March and I was just told of another one yesterday. To top it off, I'm supposed to be getting married next weekend and I find a condom in his wallet when we don't use any. He says he picked it up from the ground and put it in his wallet. Who the eff goes around picking up condoms? And when we don't even use them. I'm a mess, at work and I don't even know how I'm keeping it together. I just want to disappear