Feelings

Why is it when I'm actually actively trying and hoping for a baby it is so hard. I know I should be happy that I have three children but my heart is so set on a 4th. I didn't even try with my kids. Heck, I was on birth control with my daughter! Why is it now that I actually am planning and trying it feels so impossible. And then each time my period comes late I start getting excited and the minute I get comfortable with the idea that this is finally it then I start my period.

I'm sorry if this upsets anyone who has no children and is trying hard themselves. Maybe I come off greedy to you. But I'm still frustrated. I still look at pictures of my kids as babies or see other babies and just want to cry because I want just one more.

I'm the oldest with 3 sisters and 2 brothers. Big families have always been a norm for me. I want the same for my kids.