mother in law smoking in the home
So my husband, me and my two kids live with my husbands mother. She smokes, in the house. We had this issue with the smoking before she quit for the like 4th time. She just recently started again. But she goes from not smoking to smoking almost a pack a day. Am I in the wrong for asking her to quit smoking in the house when my kids are living here too? I can't stand it myself but I'm more worried about my children breathing it in when my youngest already has asthma issues. I asked her nicely couple days ago if she could please smoke outside because of the kids and my chest is hurting(I have no idea if it's from the smoke or if was something else, but I was coughing so badly that my chest was burning. I'm fine when I'm not around the smoke) she got up really pissed off and went to her room for the rest of the night. Then of course it started again with her smoking in the living room. I just said something again today. I asked her if she really believes it's ok to smoke with a 3 and 6 year living it the house. Of course she got really pissed off and just went off on me. I said that I don't want it around my kids and she said well this is my house and I should be able to do what I want in my house. I told her I get that, but all I asked was for you to step outside with the cigarettes so the kids aren't breathing everything in. She says, you guys knew this before you moved here and i said yea, it has gotten worse and of course she says well if you weren't on my ass about everything all the time I wouldn't be smoking so much! (We have not said anything to her about the smoking til now and that's all I have been on her about, I could care less about anything else because it doesn't effect my children's health) I feel like I did something wrong because this is not my house and I'm living under her roof. Please tell me what are your opinions on the matter? I'm just so tired of dealing with it and I want to move but my husband doesn't want to rent which I get why and we won't be able to get a loan til September. So I feel trapped and my husband doesn't understand how I feel, I try telling him but he gets pissed because it's his mom.
UPDATE: so my husband called his mom and said something because of how upset I was after talking to her, she yelled at him, told him she will not smoke outside and she doesn't care and then hung up on him. So we are looking for places to rent as of now and I am staying at my aunt and uncles with my kids til then, my husband stayed there because of the animals we have, so he can take care of them. Pretty shitty having to stay away from my husband but got to do what you have to do. He is not happy at all with his mom and I know their relationship is going to suck now. I didn't mean to cause trouble but she also didn't have to be so mean about it too. Mothers on here, you can understand I am thinking of my children and the fact I apologized to my husband about making a huge deal and he said it's fine, he sees how his mom really feels. Thank you for all the advice! Just have to look up from here.
I get everyone has their opinions but I needed to vent. I don't have many friends I can talk to. This post was more about getting out how I feel. I completely understand that it's not my house and she will do what she wants. That's fine, but also not all of you know the whole story, just what I put on here. We have been putting up with a lot with her for a long time but she won't let us help her, so I stopped trying and started focusing on my husband and my kids and that's what I'm doing here. It's very true that you won't know how to feel or what it's like until you put yourself in someone elses shoes and yes I know someone will say, well think about how she feels. I get it, it's one of those she feels out of control with everything so she's controlling this and fine. I'll let her do that.
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