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breakup

I broke up with my boyfriend of going on five years today.. it was one of the hardest choices I had to make and I still feel like I'm not sure... I love this guy I really do.

I left him because he has zero ambition & now that I'm older I have expectations of him and it's like he has no motivation to create a future for us together...

I really feel like I'm loosing my best friend someone who I grew up with.

I'm still confused if I should move on or not.. he cried when I told him it was over & begged me not to let him go.. he said, Karen just let it be a break, just don't leave me......

idk why I feel so hurt ... but I feel like I had no other option.. I've told him countless amounts of times that I need to meet his family, that we need to get a place, engaged, move on with life.

To stop spending money on drugs, to take me out on dates, to go back to college, to find a better job, to be emotionally there for me, stop with his shitty attitude, and calling me names.... I'm just over it!

I cannot have all the pull in a relationship and hold his hand. I'm not his mom I was his girlfriend! I tried my best to guide him in the right direction... sometimes words are just air pointless air !

I don't know what else to do?

Should I move on?

Or stay & work on it?

He's like don't give up on me now...

just give me time.. , but I gave him fucking almost five years...

Shit I am upset.... I feel like I was never enough he doesn't get that.

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