fiancé is upset about gender

Lauren
So today we had the chance to find out the gender of our baby. Please keep in mind, we have been waiting 3 years for a baby, have two babies in heaven and went through countless fertility treatments. My fiancé is the last one to carry on his last name.. we are only 25 &27 with lots of time to make babies.
So we found out we're having a girl. As for me, I cried my eyes out because either way I was happy. He on the other hand took away my excitement and mad me cry because he was upset it wasn't a boy. He won't even talk to me, look at me or anything. He's making me feel so guilty. He's using the excuse he has the "gender baby blues" and it won't go away until the baby is born, Some doctor said. We went and told his parents and they made him feel like less of a man because it wasn't a boy. Everyone on his side of the family is acting like this is a disappointment. But my family is just happy I have a healthy child, after so many years. I'm just at a loss for words, what do I do? I think he's being completely selfish and took away such a special moment for me. Like I can't even be happy or he'll love the baby less since it's a girl. I understand he's the last one to carry his name but I mean come on, we're still young. 
624 views • 2 upvotes • 13 comments

COMMENT (13)

Di

Posted at
Does he know that it's the male that determines the sex of the baby? The only one he should be mad at is himself and his swimmers if that a the cAse.Gender disappointment is real, but he is quite rude. Congrats on the little girl and I hope he comes around quick

EB

EBC • May 29, 2017
I was going to say the same thing as well. Tell him next time try to shoot for boy. U have nothing to do with it.!!

Au

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What is this? China? 

Gi

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That will all change once the baby is born. But he's being a total ass for acting the way he is. 

La

Lauren • May 29, 2017
I really do get that he can be a little upset but taking away the excitement and treating me like crap is uncalled for

To

Tori • May 29, 2017
I second this completely! Once he sees that baby his whole world will stop and he will fall in love in a way he never has before. However, he's being a douche for acting the way he is right now. Who give a f*** if he's the last one to carry on his name 🙄 it's not that serious

La

Lauren • May 29, 2017
I don't know if I can wait until the baby is born. Only because I feel like I can't call it a girl around him or decorate the room or anything. I just feel like I can't talk to him

Ke

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I would pack a bad and sleep at my parents house for a night or two. Cuz fuck that that's so heart breaking to hear...

Ke

Keda • May 29, 2017
Bag**

Br

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Gender disappointment is real and for your husband especially if nobody can carry over the family name that's not something light. But he just found out he'll get excited once news settles in especially since girls are daddies girls. He will instantly fall in love!

M

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For what it's worth, a girl can definitely carry on his name. My paternal grandfather had two sisters, so he was the only one to carry on his name. He had five kids, two girls and three boys. All of his children only had girls (including me). When I got married it was really important to me that I keep and pass on my last name. Both my children (a boy and a girl) have my last name, my grandfather's last name. What they choose to do when they're adults and have kids is their own cell, but the name could have died with me and it didn't. Your daughter could do the same. All that being said, it's ok that he's disappointed, though I wish he wasn't making it so hard on you. 

MC

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Please understand that gender disappointment is very real. I know it sounds horrible but it can't be helped. My husband is also the last one to carry on his name and has 3 daughter from his first wife. I'm giving him daughter #4. I'm 27 and he's 33 so we still have time but 5 kids would be a lot. We wanted a boy more than anything but it wasn't in the cards. I feel like our first baby was a boy but we miscarried at 5 weeks so we'll never know. I cried in the parking lot when we found out it was another girl. But hey, it's the man who chooses the sex! He was upset too but I felt so disgusted and guilty for crying, like I wasn't going to love my daughter. We both came around and now we're super stoked for her to be here in 8 weeks or less. Give it time, he'll come around in sure. Just try to be understanding. I'm sorry you're dealing with it but men also don't get to "bond" with baby like we do. My husband says he's excited but sometimes doesn't show it like I feel he should and he says it still not real until he's holding her. Just be patient and best of luck! 😘

??

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My brother had that happen to him. He wanted a girl and gor a boy. He was very upset for a few weeks and by the time his little man can he was so in love with him. It's his mini me. Give home time. Sorry he did that to you.