Long relationship paragraph. Beware.

Okay! So, I was dating this dude a year ago....(It's late, I know, but what happened still bugs me) It was a great relationship I think. We both had the same personality he fell in love with the real me and now the person I was pretending to be and I fell in love with him, but he did have a flirting problem (literally asked me if he could kiss someone else.)  He was an amazing person. We'd talk everyday. But one day, he stopped talking to me. Like he literally dropped off the face of the earth. All of my messages were delivered but not read and after a month I decided to move on. I wasn't really planning on dating until he came back but i wasn't going to wait forever. So I decided to do what he does and just flirt a little. Then I found this other guy he was somewhat sweet and I felt bad for him because no one liked him. I 'dated' him but couldn't get over the dude no matter how hard I tried. So I tried to break up with the guy but then he starts threatening me by saying if I break up with him he's going to kill himself. After having some of my friends die by suicide I didn't want another so I stayed with him. Soon I figured out that the guy was a major cheater and so I made a plan to get him to cheat on me with well, me. (By text) The plan was working and the day I was going to expose him!!! The dude comes back. The dude is now mad and leaves, I expose the guy, he leaves. I think about life then the dude comes back and tells me how he understands but he wishes i would've waited. SO AFTER THAT STORY, MY QUESTION IS, Was i in the wrong? Should i have waited? Were we both in the wrong? I feel like he could've at least warned me. To this day hes mad that i cheated, but he's the one that left first. I really need help. I want to move on but I can't, because I still don't know if what I did was entirely wrong.