Have you ever said something you didn't mean while....

My fucking God. Excuse my language but. A few hours ago I was drunk off my ass and literally told my step mom and father I want to die or self harm but I won't because I know people love me. And I fucking pathetic cried because I said it's "hard because my depression says otherwise". I hate myself so much cause I usually stay quiet. Ah well it was gonna happen some day. I embarrassed myself. I WAS CRYING IN THE DRIVEWAY SITTING DOWN AND I LEFT MY GLASSES ON THE GROUND. (AT MY GRANDPARENTS HOUSE....I'M HOME NOW)THEYRE STILL THERE. I'M SO MAD AT MYSELF. SO MANY EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW.

*legal age to drink here is 18* I sound immature because I'm not fully sober . I apologize